Top signs that you have a child with short gut syndrome

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• You have a syringe of saline or heparin in your purse.
• You know your child's weight in kilos.
• People have asked you if you went to nursing school (and seem surprised when you respond "no").
• You know how to correctly pronounce "Puder" (Pewter)
• It seems strange to think that all parents don't know what their child's bilirubin is.
• You've had nightmares about bag leaks.
• You've given your hospital a nickname.
• You have a bottle of Purell in each room of your house.
• You've shown a new nurse at the hospital how to operate your child's pump.
• It's become routine to discuss stool and ostomy output while eating dinner.
• The Oley Foundation Annual Conference is now your idea of the perfect family vacation.
• You consider Omegaven to be one of the 7 wonders of the world.
• You and your child have built "towers" using medical supply boxes as blocks (ostomy supply boxes are the best).
• You've been known to purposefully buy yellow and green outfits for you child so the stain won't show if they have a bag leak.
• You're the only parent on the block who actively discourages their child from eating fruit.
• You can spot a brand new resident from a mile away.
• You do ten times more laundry than most people with children.
• You've made a hummingbird's nest for orphaned babies using an adhesive remover box.
• You explain TPN to curious people as "IV food"
• You chew up brand new residents and spit them out ; )
• The entire nursing staff at your hospital and maybe a couple others all know you and your child by name.
• You clean your bathtub with bleach and scalding hot water before bathing your child ...and then you still won't let them sit in the standing water.
• You get excited when you see another child with a special need and feel compelled to speak to his/her parents.
• You feel that your child isn't a special needs child, but a child who's special and needs only you.
• When friends and family ask how you and your child are doing you ask them, "Well...when was the last time you checked the website?"
• You're known as a frequent flyer at your hospital's ER and get a VIP pass to an examine room.
• Your only form of vacation involves a stay at the Ronald McDonald House and/or a clinic visit.
• You you commonly refer to g-tube feeds as "plugging the little guy in for a recharge".